#«mission season: incendiary»

[snekkohekko]

It's weird to think but, if we're being realistic Marcy probably has the highest body count of the main three, mainly because she became a ranger like immediately (minus 6 weeks for her broken leg). Sasha was just hanging around the Southern Toad Tower for the most part up until the events of reunion, but in though out season 2 it's safe to assume she might've killed some people while roaming the countryside, be them bandits or what have you. and Anne was with the planters the whole time. but Marcy was out doing missions and shit the entire 5 months when she was the Rangers (though it also seems she did spent at least half the time in the city itself) and we see her fighting people with Yunan in her special intro thing (I forgor what it's called). Her weaponry doesn't help either, though mostly just in the episode Marcy at the Gates we see her make use of both chemical and incendiary warfare, (granted against wild animals) but her crossbow bolts, if hit would almost defiantly cause infection/heavy bleeding, this is because, due to their shape of the bolt, once implanted into the skin would either need to be strait ripped out (pulling a shitton of flesh with it) or pushing it through (with the danger of hitting a important artery or vein or something vital). so what im sayin is that Marcy has almost 100% killed people (this isn't counting shit the CORE might have done while in her body, but that's more on the CORE than Marcy).

[regalblades]

hell’s wheel of pain

[Grants +1 Riding, Flying, or Heavy Armor]

The Valley of Torment is a name earned.

It is unbearably hot, in direct contrast to the frigid winds and snow that presently permeate the rest of the region. The summer sun at its worst is nothing compared to this; Lloyd’s grimace is thinly veiled as the swordsman picks at his coat. Heat and dark clothing do not mix very well; clings to him like a second skin due to sweat, only serving to amplify his discomfort—and they’re to spend however long it takes to reach the opposite end of the valley enduring it.

Never mind that once they’ve made it through, too hot will become too cold once more. Doubtless their group will need to stop and adjust—but that’s a problem to be dealt with when they get there.

Lloyd wonders why they have to go through the valley in the first place. Are there really no alternative routes they could take to cross into Faerghus? That over the course of centuries, no other roads were cut through the mountains separating the Kingdom and Alliance? It is no wonder, then, that merchants from the latter typically enter the former’s territory by ship instead.

“Sir!” A knight from his assigned unit approaches him; the man looks as if he’s on the verge of wilting in the unrelenting heat. “Everything is secure for transport. We’re ready to depart at your command.”

“Good. Tell the others to keep formation around the wagon once we start moving. I doubt we’ll run into trouble along the way, but better safe than sorry.” As much as they can be when they’re a fairly small group and only moderately armed for battle, at least. “...And drink some water while you’re at it. You don’t want to faint out here.”

The knight is dismissed to do as told, and Lloyd turns his attention to the three students who’d asked to come along. “We’ll keep several paces ahead of them, to make sure the road stays clear. Any objections?”

// next: @kingoftempests | @ingridbgalatea | @godsmercie - any of you can go!

[freedomarrow]

Let Bygones Be Bygones? || Leonardo & Elincia

@estivalincia

Another day of classes is done, and Leonardo calmly packs his books and other belongings into his bag. He feels like he did fairly well today; the lectures were clear and understandable, even ones the topic of which he is not necessarily well versed or particularly interested in, so his mind is at peace.

The teachers here in Fodlan certainly earned their good reputation for a reason.

He slowly makes his way to his room through the open hallways, enjoying the atmosphere and the cool refreshing breeze of the winter. He briefly wonders whether he will be as well accustomed to the climate of Fodlan once summer arrives and - well, presumably at least - it becomes warmer. Just how much warmer does it get once winter is over.

His train of thought is brutally interrupted however, when right in front of him, in the hallway, he spots another figure from the past. He cannot help but let out a gasp, immediately stopping in his steps. It does not matter that he had only actually seen her a couple times at best; no way he would mistake the green hair, the look in her eyes and that royal posture for anyone else.

Seriously? First he encounters Ike’s sister, and now his employer?

He freezes for a moment. His mind briefly considers the options of turning back, but she notices him, so unless he wants to look really rude, that is out of the question. Besides, those are the Blue Lions hallways; they probably would have run into each other sooner or later.

So he puts his hand on his chest and offers a polite, yet somewhat stiff, bow; and then merely stands there, just staring at her, wondering what she thinks and what she will do. Or if she even recognizes him, for that matter; they met after Ashera’s judgement, sure but it is not as though he is someone particularly significant. 

He decides to let her speak first. That will determine whether or not he even has the right to say anything here.

[hungrymage]

Spicy Food Challenge! (Not Clickbait!!)

starter for: @amnesiac-pawn

Cold weather did not suit her. Ilyana much preferred more temperate climates, where she didn’t waste half her energy trying to stay warm. Even bundled up in layers of clothes she swore she could still feel a chill.

Inevitably, word of the Spice Festival reached her ears. Trying out new dishes? An eating contest? Now that was her kind of evening! She’d almost started drooling in class that morning before lessons started. No amount of sneaking bites of jerky and bread could prevent her from imagining the creations the chef came up with. Mmmm…new dishes to devour!

She drifted into the dining hall, long cloak trailing bits of snow along the floor. She paid no mind as a pleasant wall of warmth enveloped her. The ovens kept the place nice and toasty, thankfully. (No amount of bad weather will ever come between her and food.)

Students already crowded the trestle tables, elbowing each other good naturedly. Ilyana inhaled deeply. Spices of all kinds assaulted her nose. She coughed, unprepared for the sudden attack. Oh…so it was that kind of Spice Festival. Her tolerance for spicy food was adequate enough. If she had some time of palate cleanser to along with it, then it really didn’t bother her that much. And the stuff did take the biting edge of winter off.

Ilyana stepped up to the dishes on display. Everything looked delicious. Bowls of noddles, meat glazed with some type of orange sauce, and sliced peppers dotting plates of rice. Humming to herself, she eagerly grabbed one of everything. The dishes rattled against each other on her way to a half-empty table.

Nothing spilled, thank the goddess. She brushed her lavender pigtails behind her shoulders. Washing food out of her hair was annoying and time consuming. It was then she noticed the boy sitting across from her, attention on the book open in front of him. Ilyana squinted at him. He didn’t look at all familiar.

“Oh…hello. Did you want some food?” Ilyana secretly hoped he said no. She knew it was selfish to think like that, but proper etiquette called for being polite.

[princepsumbra]

fond memories

starer for: @devious-archer

Eager students descend in a frantic rush upon the training grounds. Those on the path to becoming mages clamor for attention, asking last minute questions about theory or form. Leo is more than happy to oblige. It’s a challenge for him, explaining the inner workings of the tomeless magic all the rage in Fódlan.

After one such impromptu lecture is over, Leo exits the classroom in favor of watching over the training grounds. The clack of wooden weapons interspersed with cries of effort bring back memories from his own youth. Trying desperately to keep pace with his siblings, dissecting their strengths, desperately wishing to repeat their success with a melee weapon. Brown eyes sweep appreciatively across the sparring matches. Kids move with a grace he’ll never be able to match, flowing effortlessly from one form to another. Just like those two.

Ah, but they’ll never match your elegance with magic. Fitting; he’s never been one for confrontation. Get in quick, get out fast. Strike before they ever knew you were there. Gloved hands clasped behind his back, Leo walks slowly around the perimeter of the grounds. Imminent graduation added a new element of finality to the atmosphere. The playful mood that used to permeate duels now turned serious. Even then, all they seemed to whisper about were upcoming exams. Leo flexes his jaw in distaste. These kids knew nothing about the harsh reality a life on the battlefield entailed. A war doesn’t care about perfect scores or flawless technique. Enemies aren’t going to stop and allow a do-over when you make a mistake.

Twanging bow strings bring him back to himself. Leo exhales deeply. Now here’s a weapon none of his siblings ever felt drawn too. Releasing his hands, he idly runs fingertips along a wooden training bow resting on the rack. Three students stand in a line, facing down their targets. Eyes narrow. Could it be…? The nonchalant man in the center looks at home firing a bow.

Niles? What on earth was the man doing here? Had he followed Leo to this academy?

[godsmercie]

wait for it, wait for it

Mercedes had heard about the event from Edelgard as her partner sternly warned her against participating, due to her injury the last time it occurred, and Mercedes agreed, so here she was, sitting in the infirmary, waiting for the inevitable students and teachers alike wandered in with bruises and scrapes and any other possible injuries.

She was getting worried as she looked out at the pie-covered campus, eyes darting around to spot the players and try to assess any potential injuries from afar. Her lips pushed into a small pout as she came to the conclusion that she couldn’t make any real diagnoses from her spot on the second floor.

She wonders idly how the plucky groundskeeper was going to react, considering her seething anger last time.

...

She sends out a silent prayer for Cynthia.

[herrings]

who’s the spiciest?

it seems inevitable to be caught in the pandemonium of the spice festival. taking place in the dining hall of all places (in opposition to the marketplace, or one of the courtyards, or anywhere that wasn’t an essential part of linhardt’s schedule), the chamber roars alive in clamor as students and faculty alike congregate and chatter. the clinking of plates highlight the murmur of countless conversations, sometimes littered with a shout or peppered laughter as mischievous youth bombard one another in expensive spices. to linhardt, the scenery is immediately overwhelming as he steps foot into the canteen, tensing as he’s nearly trampled by a couple chasing one another with spoonfuls of curry powder. had his own cravings not held him hostage, linhardt would have opted to turn and scurry away from the dining hall ‘till evening, where the commotion certainly would have died out. crowds do no favor for the young adrestian; although noble by blood and therefore defaulted to his own exposure of galas and socials, linhardt finds that he could never overcome his discomfort. in fact, he tenses the more he analyzes the surplus of bodies-- had the monastery always housed this many individuals?

maneuvering about the bystanders, linhardt attempts weaseling himself through the assemblage. he craves a serving of daphnel stew, or perhaps even the gautier cheese gratin, but it comes to the hevring heir’s dismay when he approaches the serving counter and is told that the auxiliary menu won’t be ready until an hour. a quick glance at the day’s menu makes his heart sink to his starving stomach. all readily made dishes are heavy-handed in spice and whilst linhardt tends to believe he can tolerate mild spices… his palette naturally skews to the sweet and savory. he’d like to argue, anyhow, that spicy isn’t a flavor-- it’s a sensation, a reaction to pain.  and, unlike most individuals who crowd the mess hall today, he isn’t masochistic enough to enjoy slaughtering his tastebuds intentionally.

in a decision to either wait or suffer the consequences of consuming monstrosities such as the super spicy fish dango, linhardt chooses to starve as he strays away from the counter and roams about the interior. disinterest litters aegean hues at first (and occasionally disgust when he watches fellow students shovel pure spice down their throats and choke), it isn’t until linhardt wanders into the cafeteria’s extension to the outer courtyard when his interest is finally piqued.

in one section of the clearing, booths of spices are put on display. seasoning belonging to each country in fodlan and even beyond are worth enough to marvel. some intricate spices aren’t readily shipped to hevring, linhardt finds, and he ponders momentarily on whether he should purchase a bundle or two to send back to his mother. instead, as the young heir turns his head, his eyes catch onto what seems to be a demonstration. participants are lined before tables, each standing before equipment and a handful of ingredients.  a spokesman stands at the front of the rows, talking about the origins of whatever flavoring was at hand, and linhardt quietly stalks forth. he weaves his way between individuals, inching closer to the mid-section until a familiar visage stops him in his tracks. it’s leonie, his fellow housemate-- and she doesn’t have a book in front of her?  unlike her fellow amateur chefs, she doesn’t have her nose burrowed in directions as she rummages about her ingredients. besides leonie, much to linhardt’s luck, is an unoccupied space.

“leonie. sampling spices, i see.” linhardt greets as he slinks beside his housemate, tentatively peering at the pot before her, “shouldn’t you be following the director’s orders?” he turns his head back towards the front and squints. from where they stand, the head chef’s explanations are all but a distant drawl. he looks back at leonie once more and surveys her work, “it looks like you’re just cooking by spontaneity.” @rivclry

[regnumaves]

Into the Fire || Tibarn & Selkie

@kitsuneiisms​

They’re starting him off strong, huh.

Tibarn groans as he stretches his wings and glances at the food package he is supposed to carry through this mess of a place. When they said “we’re short staffed, so we might need you in the fray immediately”, he didn’t think that is what they meant.

Not going to lie, he may have expected a little more of this place he had heard so much about. This feels mildly unusual. But... perhaps he set his expectations too high. Nothing to be done about that, and he is not one to say no to a request for help. He’ll do it.

Though he is still near the entrance, he can feel the heat of the flames further down the road, which gives him an unpleasant flashback to the passage through the Kauku Caves. Though he supposes that he’s already braved the flames of hell once, he can do it again. At least this time, there’s less of a chance that he’ll have to face a big, stubborn old lizard once he’s through.

Just as he’s done dealing with those thoughts, a sound catches his attention and he turns to see the student picked to accompany him on this task - and he cannot help but raise his eyebrows in surprise. Hawks don’t have the best sense of scent among the laguz by any means, but he still has no doubt - this girl’s a shapeshifter... Though definitely not of a race he’s familiar with - the aura she gives off is completely new. And she has a pegasus and beorc weapons with her, so it looks like she has accepted and adapted to their ways. Definitely more flexible than him in this regard.

... Either way. “Hello there. Selkie, was it?” He recalls the name of the student that was given to him. “Nice to meet you. It looks like we’ve got to make it through here together for this mission.” He winces as he looks away from her and at the Valley. “Absolutely charming place, isn’t it.” They sure did not call it the Valley of Torment for nothing.

He looks back to Selkie and her mount. “Okay, first question. Do you think your buddy here would handle me transforming into a Hawk roughly her size? It’d make things easier for me, but I can manage like this if you think it’d scare her.”

[theindigoflirt]

Celebrity is as Celebrity Does

starter for: @falchionexalt

Quite the buzz surrounds the newest arrival at Garreg Mach. She’s hard to miss, strutting about in a bright yellow ensemble, proclaiming the virtues of her newest seminar. Inigo catches a glimpse of her outside the greenhouse doors. Wiping sweat off his brow, he tilts his head. This Professor Pans doesn’t look like the adventuring type. A rapier is belted around her slim waist, the swept hilt covered with gold. Yellow tassels dangle off the scabbard, which is similarly golden-edged.

Oh, he has to see this seminar. For someone who just recovered from hypothermia, she seems oddly energetic. Inigo nods to the groundskeeper, handing over his shears. “See you soon, my sweet,” he winks at her before disappearing outside. The seminar should take place after lunch; plenty of time for him to clean up before attending.

————————

One meal and a bath later, Inigo stops outside the classroom Professor Pans commandeered for her seminar. An attendant stands by the door, dressed just as ostentatiously as Franzi.

“Maybe she’ll mention us in her next book!”

“Hey…doesn’t that story she wrote about Magdred Way sound familiar?” “That story about riding a pegasus reminded me of the Ten Elites.”

Inigo hears snatches of the same rumors that have been floating around all week. Honestly, he’s not completely surprised this woman isn’t what she says she is. He’s spent enough time around knights to know the type.

The attendant raises his voice. “Attention! Before Professor Pans recounts her adventures, she does ask for a small fee to fund her next heroic trip! I’m sure you understand.”

Inigo sighs along with the crowd, fishing into his pockets for the required coin. There goes his tea money for the week.

With muttered ‘thank you’s,’ the attendant smiles graciously when coins are dropped into his outstretched palm. He opens the door to admit one student at a time as soon as his meaty fingers close over the metal.

Inigo glances around as the line moves steadily forward, wondering if he recognizes any of the classmates. Ah. Eyes snag on the Exalt. Inigo goes stiff for a moment. He should go over and say something.

Footsteps are light, the movement of someone ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. He dips his head in respect. “E-exalt Chrom! Here to learn some new sword skills?”

[flameinflight]

In A Foreign Land

Dreary was the trip through Faerghus, yet Hinoka still found the opportunity to learn of a foreign land helpful. Granted, the summons had come less than a month into her stay at Garreg Mach, yet a ruler’s devotion was to the people - thus, when a fellow lord requested her aid in assisting to calm the rebellion flourishing in Faerghus, the queen had no choice but to accompany him. 

A lone fire warmed her hands, set to fight the biting chill of winter’s embrace. Despite being a newcomer to Fódlan, even Hinoka could see that the Church of Seiros’ interests were closer aligned with that of the nobility. As such, when the convoy approached the edge of town, it was Hinoka’s suggestion to make camp outside, hold until dawn’s light to approach the issues.

“I’m sorry, but I forgot your name. I know you told me back at the Monastery, but after all the travelling, it slipped my mind. I’m Hinoka, in case you forgot - not that I’d hold it against you.”

A soft smile spread towards her coworker, another teacher and prince of another land -  Ylisse, she recalled him saying. Funny how she could remember the name of his land, yet not that of the man who reached out himself.

“I haven’t been here that long, so I’m more than a bit surprised that I was wanted for this mission. I guess it makes sense, but throwing a foreign ruler into civil affairs feels like walking a tightrope! How’d you get tangled up in this yourself-”

A somber silence fell over the Hoshidan Queen, sentence abruptly cut off at the snap of a branch, just outside the light of the flames. Embers flicker and dance, scarlet eyes scan the darkness, and, without warning, her steel lance has found its way to the queen’s hands, quickly wrought into a defensive stance as a hatchet swings down from the dark, tired, circled eyes behind its wielder filled with a determined rage. 

“It’s an ambush! Everyone, prepare yourselves!”

@falchionexalt

[timescursedmark]

Breaking the Ice

(starter for @cynthero)

Owain had been nervous waiting for his talk with Inigo in the greenhouse a few days ago, but that was absolutely nothing compared to how completely miserable he felt right now. He knew why, of course... opening up to Inigo was one thing, since they’d already been leaning on each other for some time, now, but opening up to Cynthia... Owain let out a short, frustrated breath. He’d really let her down, hadn’t he? The one time he’d tried to reach out, it hadn’t gone anywhere, and he hadn’t done much of anything with her since. He wasn’t really sure if he’d manage anything of note here, and there was a pit in his stomach that felt like it was yawning wider and darker by the minute.

Also, it was REALLY COLD OUT HERE, standing on a frozen pond in the middle of the winter, so that didn’t help either.

The frozen pond in question, of course, was the excuse that Owain had used to bring Cynthia over to talk with him, via a mysterious (but signed) note much like the one he’d used for Inigo and the greenhouses. It was a teamwork-based mission, and nobody in their right mind would be standing out in this cold environment, ESPECIALLY on the lake, unless they had the task that Owain and Cynthia were now performing, right? (Actually, standing here, Owain was now not all that sure that anyone doing this was in their right mind, either). They could talk undisturbed! Well, uh, maybe shout across the pond at each other undisturbed, given the way that the monks had told Owain that this was supposed to go... he kind of hadn’t thought this out that far.

He didn’t have time to reflect much further, though, as he saw Cynthia coming right over there. He froze for a moment, opened his mouth, then looked away for just a moment and decided to wait for her to get closer, before: “What ho, Cynthia! I, uh... I see you have answered this summons to an important mission of the Justice Cabal!” Damn it, this all sounded wrong to Owain as it came out of his mouth, but nothing better came to mind no matter how hard he tried to think of something. “I, uh...” he floundered for a moment, “The ice on this pond is a formidable opponent, and just one pair of hands will never overcome its evil!”

[freedomarrow]

Sometimes You Just Need to Cancel a Stinky Liar || Leonardo & Cynthia

@cynthero​

Leonardo tilts his head as a flier hanging on a wall he passes by catches his attention.

...

Well. First off, “a person of knowledge and spite” is... quite a term to use to describe oneself. Leonardo knows nothing of whoever left that notice, but the archer feels a small hint of respect for them just from that alone. Why? He honestly is not entirely sure. He just thinks it takes some guts to write something this honest about oneself and leave it in the open for everyone to read.

Second, he winces at the thought of some fraud celebrity visiting Garreg Mach and, presumably, attempting to gain money and even more fame off of the work of other people. Naturally this is nowhere near as serious a situation as the experiences he and his homeland have in this regard, but Leonardo still cannot help but feel in a similar way towards this person as he would towards a Begnion Occupational Army soldier.

To be precise, he would like to stick an arrow in her foot.

... Too bad Edward is not here. If he were, the two of them would probably get on that together immediately. Unfortunately, with the swordsman usually being the catalyst that sparked the two of them into action and shenanigans, Leonardo is just... kind of stuck merely thinking about it. The whole arrow in foot thought is nice, but... he does not have enough courage and fire in his mind to arrange that on his own.

It is then that, in a corner of his eye, he notices someone pass by him; he turns and sees a (presumably) teenage girl; roughly his height, dusty brown hair tied into pigtails, her steps quick and decisive. She stops for a moment, glancing at the flier, and possibly at him? And in her hands, Leonardo sees some papers and catches “Franzi Pans” and “fraudulent” scribbled on at least one of them.

... So, there is some sort of investigation going on among the students? Interesting.

[hungrymage]

bringing good cheer

starter for @healingmist

ϟ—Peppermint sticks! Ilyana ignores the colorful shops in favor of marching straight towards the candy maker. Mist promised their first stop would be scoping out all the latest seasonal treats. She can smell the sugar before they even step into the building. Her stomach growls loudly in response. Bright blue and white banners decorate the exterior, framing giant windows displaying towering cakes and frosting-covered sweet buns.

A little bell rings above the door when they enter. Children squeak in delight, fingers sticky with chocolate. Lavender eyes light up as she takes it all in. Pastries proudly on display in one corner. Every kind of chocolate creation she can dream of take an entire wall.

In the center stands a table full the famed peppermint sticks. Ilyana quickly grabs a handful before turning to Mist. “Should I get more?”

Stupid question. Ilyana scoops up a few more of the sticks and dumps them in a nearby bag. Just enough for their little excursion tonight. Mission accomplished, she pulls out her coin purse. (Strange, having enough money to buy food.) “Oh…did you want something?”

It’s easy enough to uphold her side of the bargain with a new treat in hand. Shopping has never been her thing. Though now, when not fighting a war and concerned with where her next meal is coming from, it’s nice to live normally. Go out on the town with a friend by her side for an evening, enjoy the sights and sounds.

One peppermint stick is already in her mouth by the time Ilyana offers the kindly merchant her payment.

[keyofjetwolf]

Hi would you like some rage about She-Ra season 5?

If the answer is no, please don’t click below. For real. Really for real. I’m not looking to piss in anyone’s Cheerios. I think if you were satisfied (or better!) with the show, that’s fantastic and I envy you. As I have always said, love what you love. My opinion is mine and means precisely nothing beyond that. If you think you may be even a little bummed reading about how someone didn’t like it, skip this post and go on with your day, I promise you’re not missing anything worthwhile.

IN A SIMILAR VEIN: If -- before, during, or after reading -- you feel inclined to argue with me, I am begging you to please not. I cannot begin to tell you how much I don’t want to be argued with on this right now. I’m still extremely disappointed and cranky, and I’m not much in the mood to have a measured, reasoned debate about my feelings. Much as my opinion has no bearing on you, your opinion has no bearing on me, and as I’m giving you the option to opt out, I’d appreciate the same courtesy. If you want to write your own post on your own blog, go nuts! Just please leave me out of it. I PREFER TO BE CRANKY AT TELEVISION SHOWS THAN PEOPLE.

The rest of you, come on down. I don’t promise coherency, but I DO promise a lot of stuff said in all-caps!

---

Hello! Thank you for joining me! We watched the remaining few episodes of She-Ra last night! I hated them! Yaaay!

What did I hate? OH HO HO MANY THINGS FRIENDS MANY THINGS. It’s not just stuff from the final couple of episodes either, I want to clarify. It’s the entire final season, settling on last few episodes like the freshly fallen snow on your front lawn that some frat boys decide to pee their names into. By the time we’d gotten to these last episodes, there was really nothing left for me but confirmation of all the shit I’d come to hate. SO THANKS I GUESS FOR PROVING ME RIGHT

Which isn’t to say there was nothing to enjoy in the final episodes! There was!

5. She-Ra’s Triceps. GET BUFF GIRL. I LOVE how Adora and She-Ra look similar, but very much not identical. Adora’s no slouch when it comes to physical stuff, but they go the extra mile to show us how She-Ra is that much more. HOW RARELY DO YOU GET TO SEE A WOMAN WITH MUSCLES. I’ve been nothing but impressed by the ways the show drew the line between Adora and She-Ra, and however I felt about its handling of other elements, it didn’t let me down here.

4. Sometimes A Family Is A Twink, A Lizard, And Their Imp Baby. I don’t have further commentary on this, and I need none.

3. Welcome Home, Daddy. THIS WAS SO SPECTACULAR. Glimmer had, I would argue, the most realized arc in the story. It was so gratifying to see this as a culmination, not just of her own struggle with her magical power and ability to harness it, but her willingness to do what needs doing, however personally difficult. That was a stumbling point Angelica could never overcome, continually trying to micromanage and protect Glimmer rather than trusting her and recognizing her for the asset she was. Also though, more succinctly: YESSSS BITCH

2. A Shanty! THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS PERFECT NO NOTES. Just the right blend of silly and sincere, a genuine delight as even brainwashed Mermista had had enough of Sea Hawk’s shit, AND so much more clever than it seemed at first glance. THIS IS THE ONLY VALID HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IN SHE-RA I AM NOT TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME

1. Shadow Weaver. SHADOW FUCKING WEAVER. What a complicated, fascinating character, bar none the most interesting in the entire series. I do think they pulled their punch right at the very end with her, but I AM capable of remembering I’m watching a kid’s show, so I can only get so disappointed about it. Mostly, she remained a beautifully morally complex character, and she was one of my greatest personal delights from beginning to end*.

(*) Boy did this show have one single solution for mommy issues though.

THAT WAS ABOUT IT. So let’s get to why we’re all really here, and that is MY SCREAMING OH MY GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN

Nah, I know exactly where to begin.

GLIMMER AND BO JESUS MCTRISKET I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AND SHOWER THE UNIVERSE IN THE SHRAPNEL OF MY HATE

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

WHERE DID IT COME FROM

HOW CAN I SHOVE IT BACK IN THE HATEFUL SPEWHOLE THAT SIRED THIS BULLSHIT

WHY WHY IS THIS HERE WHY IS THIS IN MY FACE WHERE MY EYES HAVE TO SEE IT FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THIS IS THE MOST UNNECESSARY SHOEHORNED IN HET ROMANCE FUCK A DOODLE NONSENSE I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO BEAR WITNESS WHAT IS IT DOING IN THIS OTHERWISE EXPONENTIALLY GAY CARTOON

WERE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS

WHY ARE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS I ASSURE YOU WE ARE COVERED BOTH HISTORICALLY AND FICTIONALLY

ALSO NEED I REMIND YOU THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED HETEROSEXUAL PERFECTION

NO MERMISTA NO WE ARE NOT ALL JUST LIKE OKAY WITH THIS

Oh my FUCKSTICKS, I could’ve rolled with so much more that angers/disappoints me about She-Ra’s ending if every single thing I feared about this hadn’t proved true.

AND. IT. WAS. SO. UNNECESSARY.

What exactly did pairing off Glimmer and Bo do for the story? For their characters? THIS IS THE PART THAT’S STABBING ME IN THE DELICATE WEBBING OF MY TOES. Because -- COME WITH ME A MOMENT SWEET ANGELS -- because I was under the impression that, oohhhh, I dunno, FRIENDSHIP WAS A HUGE FUCKING IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PASTEL HELLSCAPE

Is it, She-Ra? IS IT REALLY???? When not one but BOTH of your childhood friendship pairings end in romance? When you close out your five seasons with romantic relationships so painfully and specifically sown across the character landscape like an overzealous gardener turned loose on the world?

You know what you have at the end? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

THIS ISN’T A BEST FRIENDS SQUAD IT’S A DOUBLE DATE THAT NEVER MERCIFULLY ENDS

And again I ask, Why?? What was it about Glimmer and Bo’s relationship that needed them to become romantic? What was LACKING that this was the solution?

THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME LOSE MY GODDAMN SHITTING MIND I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS INSIPID MYOPIC TRASHBAG OF A CONCEPT

I believed She-Ra’s entire premise about friendship, I believed it wholeheartedly, and I’m so PISSED that at the close of day, narratively, it swept it all the bin. AND YES, YES IT DID, otherwise, WHY IS IT THERE. It serves no story-based need, it serves no character-based need, it has no NEED at all. So is it meant to be a “reward” to Bo and Glimmer for winning the war, as if their lifelong friendship were not reward enough? Is it meant to show they’ve walked through the flames and emerged with stronger, deeper bonds, because of course a relationship can only go SO deep without fucking. There’s no avenue to Romantic Relationship that doesn’t simultaneously point to something lacking in Platonic Relationship, AND I AM FURY PERSONIFIED

I am so tired of this. I’m SO TIRED of this.

And it didn’t need to be there. They didn’t even TRY to give us a good reason. That may be the part that makes me the angriest. Of COURSE they hook up romantically, of COURSE their platonic love would grow into “more”.

Fuck YOU, She-Ra. I thought you were better than that. YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO BETTER THAN THAT

THEN THERE WAS CATRA

I get it, I guess. I mean, I think it’s shittily written, but I GUESS. Honestly, end of day, I just don’t care about Catra enough to really get too angry about it, particularly when as I’m so fucking incendiary over something much more important to me. But it’s also the show’s greatest creative failure, and even if I HADN’T gotten angrier at other choices, it would’ve still cut its own legs out from under it.

Catra’s “redemption” was weak and sad and did a disservice to her and everyone involved. She started self-centered and shitty, and she ended just as self-centered and shitty, only we’re fine with that now. She learned nothing and changed nothing, but also nobody ever demanded it of her, so I can only lay so much at the character’s feet. The problem is ultimately creative, where I think Noelle Stevenson got lost in her own love of the character, and somewhere along the way forgot that if you take them out that far, you have to be willing to walk them the long road back. Compare to poor Glimmer, for fuck’s sake, whose greatest sin was being desperate enough to be manipulated by the character whose entire fucking DEAL is being THE manipulator. How much shit did she get for that? How long was she punished? Meanwhile Catra becomes THE Big Bad for a while, nearly unravels all of reality in a fit of supreme lesbian angst and self-pity, directly leads to the death of the planet’s ruling monarch who also happens to be GLITTER’S MUM and DIRECT FRIEND TO THE SHOW’S HEROES, but that’s fine, you did one sorta good thing one time and even though it was also wrapped in a thick film of self-pity and a final fuck-you at Adora, all is forgiven!

Speaking of, Adora suffers just as much from stunted growth. From the beginning, her thing was control, unable to free herself from the responsibility of everything and everyone. What did we have at the end? Adora as the only one who could save everything and everyone. Yeah, they kept asking what it was SHE wanted, BUT THEN SHE NEVER ACTUALLY GOT TO CHOOSE. NOT activating the failsafe wasn’t an option for her, and while she wound up not having to die to do it, even that wasn’t her choice in the end, it was Catra’s. (Don’t even get me started on her nth hour “You love me?” fuckery when it wasn’t once for one single second shown to be a question of such life-turning importance.)

All of which could be interesting! That Catra and Adora went through all this, came so far to wind up right where they started? AWESOME. LOVE IT. FUND IT. But really all that happens is nobody minds now that Catra’s a self-involved little shit and tee-hee another Best Friends Squad Mission being bullrushed by Adora within five minutes of ending the last one isn’t that funny?

I can’t even dig much enjoyment out of Adora and Catra as a trope subversion (if one of them was a male, their romantic involvement wouldn’t have even been a QUESTION), because the show lost its fucking mind with romantically pairing everybody off in the final five minutes. WHICH BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO MY PREVIOUS SCREAMING SO I’LL STOP THERE.

There was other stuff, of course. I think it was a TERRIBLE decision to spend the last season with the focus split between the two groups of rebels, and writing half the cast into brainwashing. I think the Nettossa and Spinnerella stuff was wasted and lacked any punch at all because the show for some reason or another couldn’t be bothered to let us spend any time with them to care. The waste of Scorpia and Mermista especially (to people named Jet Wolf who are me) was fucking CRIMINAL. Speaking of Scorpia, wouldn’t her showdown with Bo have been so much more poignant if they’d had really any kind of interaction before that moment to build from? (Sure, it’s Scorpia, so if you’re going to sell the lack of context with anyone it’s her, BUT ALSO.) Hey, remember Huntara? No? NEITHER DID THE SHOW.

All my details aside though, MY MANY MANY MANY DETAILS, what kills/rages me most about She-Ra was how so much potential from the first four seasons was just flushed away. Whether it was the creative team shooting itself in the foot or corporate pressure and rushing from Netflix, I don’t know. I don’t CARE. This is the show I was given, so this is the show I have, and that kind of fall after that kind of potential doesn’t just irritate me, it makes me SAD. I wouldn’t be this disappointed if I didn’t think it could have been -- WAS -- so much more.

Time will tell if I can separate out the final season from how much I loved those that came before it. I like to hope so, because I did love it intensely and loved whenever I got the chance to really dig in and talk about it.

WHATEVER ELSE I SUPPOSE I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS

Again please remember that I am not at present looking to argue or debate my feelings and opinions. I get to just be angry and disappointed, as a treat!

[vonvestra]

She was a bold one to hold eye contact for as long as she did. Hubert found himself almost startled by it, having expected instead a murmur of an apology and an embarrassed glance away when he made no move to take her extended hand. Even if there was still a hint of discomfort in those fire-colored eyes, she held her ground better than anyone else Hubert had met. The icy hardness in his own expression began to melt away.

“I try to familiarize myself with everyone at the academy,” he explained matter-of-factly. It went without saying that it was all for Edelgard’s benefit, but for now he didn’t see an especially important reason to make that explicit. If the conversation went easier because Leonie believed Hubert was simply interested in his classmates, then that was all the better. But if she knew the rumors, then she probably had already made the connection on her own. She forged ahead anyway, and Hubert watched with guarded interest as she sat up a little straighter and announced with some pride that she didn’t like to judge others by the rumors that followed them.

“No need to apologize.” The edge in his voice had nearly smoothed away entirely, but his arms remained crossed. “I’m used to it. Frankly, I have little interest in socializing like this.”

Or at all, really. But where awkward silence could have settled in for the rest of the evening, Leonie did her best to fill it with an attempt to talk. And her questions weren’t annoying. Yet. He’d play this game for a little while, then. His eyes flickered to one of the younger knights standing near the entrance at the far end of the dining hall.

“I was coerced into attending by a member of the faculty,” he answered. “But I will admit to having a fondness for the food to be served this evening. I only wish the kitchen would hurry along...”

♤ ; to spice up a convo

vonvestra​:

The wrong place at the wrong time. So many months slipping beneath the radar of so many of his professors at last caught up with him, and one plucky member of the faculty thought Hubert’s loner tendencies to be a concern. By her urgency, Hubert could have been fooled to believe that his involvement in a social event hosted by the monastery was crucial to his survival. And it was clear that she would not accept refusal, polite or otherwise.

Hubert had other ways to avoid his insistent professors, of course. His attendance at the academy was for Edelgard, rather than his own education, so he relied on a number of skills and excuses to ensure that he could continue his work unbothered. Sliding past faculty and the Spice Festival would have been no different than all the other festivals he had chosen to avoid, except this time the menu was indeed enticing. And with most of his work squared away - or at least in a period of waiting - he agreed with little resistance.

Even if it meant giving the faculty who had chided him so this rare victory. Best she enjoy it now, he thought as he watched her scribble his name down on an attendance sheet, as he would not allow her to convince him a second time.

On the day of the festival itself, the same woman was there to greet him - no doubt waiting for indication that he would not show so that she could send someone to hound him - and with her too-wide smile, showed him to where he would be sitting. Hubert’s compliance belied his mounting irritation, and as she left him to settle in, he compulsively checked the angle of the sun through the window. The sooner the event was over, the better.

The dining hall filled up quickly enough, although Hubert watched the empty chair across from him for some time, formulating strategies to handle whoever ended up in it. Would it be Linhardt? Sylvain? Claude?

No, someone else. Hubert’s eyes followed one of the professors as they led his dining companion to the spot on the other side of the table and then disappeared again. That shade of orange was familiar, but the name… Leonie finally came to mind after some time, and Hubert decided that she wasn’t important.

He felt her eyes darting toward him, then back again. He could sense her trepidation, and he wondered idly as he stared off at the wall on the other side of the room how long it would take for her to muster up the courage to speak. If at all. Impatiently, he crossed his arms and looked to the kitchen. He could have very well finished eating and returned to his work by now, had he been left to his own devices.

Then, finally, a voice from the other side of the table - far more sure of herself than Hubert had expected - and the curiosity was visible on his face for a split second when he turned his head. Then the usual bars of condescension fell and turned his greeting into a sneer.

“I know who you are: Captain Jeralt’s devoted apprentice,” he returned, his eyes dropping to her extended hand. “I would be surprised if you did not know my name already. By your earlier unease, you seem well-acquainted with the rumors, at any rate.”

Leonie slowly withdrew her extended hand, Hubert’s brief glance towards it speaking a thousand words alone. It’s alright - Leonie could take a hint. She sheepishly put her hand back in her lap trying desperately to hold eye contact with her conversational partner. Sure, this was an event the teachers had put together and if she didn’t want to she didn’t have to speak with him.

But she couldn’t handle the idea of sitting, for who knows how long, in silence. Besides, Leonie had signed up for this by her own conscious. She wasn’t going to back down now simply because her partner was an intimidating, skeptical, ill-rumored person. Taking this event as another challenge Leonie gave him a light smile.

“Haha, I’m surprised you know about me. I thought only people in the Golden Deer House would have known about my apprenticeship with Captain Jeralt.”

Leonie never hid the fact that she was an apprentice to Jeralt - in fact, it was quite the opposite. Given the opportunity she never failed to brag about how much Jeralt has taught her and how much he influenced her current path. 

But she was surprised that this information had extended to those outside of her own house. Yes, she bragged about being an apprentice, but the opportunity to brag didn’t come up often - never mind with those she was less familiar with.

“I mean, I had my thoughts on who you were but I’d never met you before so I couldn’t say for sure.” Without a break in her sentence Leonie continued. “But there’s no harm done now is there? Now we can both say for sure who we’re talking to.”

Leonie straightened up.

“Sure I’ve heard the rumors. Scary rumors too, I’m not gonna deny that. Sorry if it seemed like I let them get the best of me earlier on. I don’t like judging people based off of rumors alone, which is why I’m talking to you right now. After all, rumors are simply rumors, right?”

The ginger supposed that even if the rumors surrounding Hubert were true, they shouldn’t hurt her in the end. She had no relation to anything involving Edelgard or the Empire nor was she a person of noble status. Unless she was related to these things in one way or another Hubert wouldn’t make a move on her - or so she thought.

Regardless, the man before her seemed to be well aware of the rumors surrounding him and his name. She wondered if the rumors affected him personally. Gossip was a noble’s favorite pastime so it was no surprise rumors such as these floated around this school for the rich.

“So…” Leonie paused, thinking of a way to change the subject. “Why did you sign up for this? From what it looks like you don’t exactly seem like the friendly type.”

[godsmercie]

i cant bake

She blinks.

Then she blinks again. “Wh-what? What prompted that, Gerome?” She thanks the Goddess for her foresight in learning all the new students’ names. He... Well, he’s wearing a mask, but she assumes he blinked in reply before repeating his statement. Her expression twists into one of confusion.

“Are you- are you asking me to teach you to bake?” There’s a pause, and then he nods. Her confusion grows. “I mean, I’d be happy to- but why are you interested in learning, if you don’t mind my asking?” They start walking to the kitchens, and Gerome remains silent. 

Then, as they walk in, he says, “I wanted to make something for... someone.” She hums in reply.

“Anything in particular?” she asks as she pulls out the flour- a cake is a good place to start for baking. She wants to ask who someone is too, but she says quiet- she hardly knew the boy yet, after all.

He’s standing awkwardly in the doorway when she turns around, and he seems to think for a moment before answering her. “Angel food cake.” She nods.

“Here, can you go grab the red book on the shelf there? Then flip to the cakes section so we have a recipe. I’ll gather the bowls and the sifter.” And so, they set off to work.

She does her best to explain everything, and as far as she can tell he’s paying rapt attention- though the mask makes it hard to tell (she’ll have to ask how he can see his peripherals through it later). He’s a good listener though, making sure to follow the instructions she gives to a T while she works on another step in the process. She’s careful to make sure he knows what she’s doing when and how she’s doing it too, so he can maybe make one on his own eventually- he seemed the type to prefer that, anyways. Once they have the cake safely in the oven, she turns to him, head tilting slightly to the side.

“So- and bear in mind you most certainly don’t have to answer, I won’t be offended- who are you wanting to give this to?” Gerome is silent for a moment, as though weighing his options carefully, but he seems to come to a conclusion quickly enough.

“...Morgan,” he answers, and she blinks, head tilting further to the side in a silent why? Gerome sighs, and she thinks he looks at the oven. “He mentioned liking them once, and I wasn’t prepared for his birthday last week. That’s all.” She can’t help but soft at that- the group from Ylisse seemed close, almost like family, so she understood wanted to go above and beyond a bit for them. She’d done the same for Nino.

“That’s sweet of you. I’m sure he’ll love it.” He hums, and they spend the rest of the bake sitting in companionable silence.

She makes sure he leaves with some fruit to go with the cake and offers her help if he wants it next time he bakes, and she swears she sees him give a hint of a smile before heading off.